• In the last section, I listed some of Gita's rules for better communication. Here are even more:
  The more people you are sitting with, the less you must speak. That is Gita's really important rule. Every person needs a chance to speak and express themselves. So if there are two persons, you get 50%. If three persons, you get only 30% speaking time, and so on. This is for the entire evening and not just for each comment. It is unkind and egotistical to hold the floor constantly. Everyone has something to say, so shut the mouth, eat something, drink something, and just listen. And, when you say something, just say one thing and not the entire string of related items. Respond to what is being discussed and don't change the subject to suit your needs. What should you do when you are not speaking? Listen, observe, be interested in what and how others are communicating. Other people are really interesting!
• Don't give too much detail. It is called “too much information”; please, I can't hold all those threads in my mind. When I hear a string of different topics spill out in one statement, I want to say, “wait, let me write this down so I can remember.” Or, “Which one do you want me to respond to? Do you want me to respond at all? Do you really care what I think?” On the other hand, don't be a one word conversationalist either. “How are you?” “Fine.” “How is your work?” “Good.” ....
  When you go to lunch or dinner with someone, remember, they really do not want to listen to all the details of your children, their pets, their spouses or girl/boy friends, their work issues, and their challenges unless you are asked directly about them. Only your mother wants to know about these things. Nor do people want to hear about your friends and what they do and where they go fishing. People are with you, one hopes, because they want to be with YOU and they want to know what YOU are doing, feeling, thinking, and how you are coping with life. They are also hoping that you ask about them and what they are doing because they consider themselves as important as you are to yourself.
• Refrain from seeking to fill the void by bringing attention to yourself by answering your own questions. Learn to ask questions to others that are interesting and not like an oral examination.
• Refrain from assuming the role of the doctor, therapist, spiritual guide, guru, astrologer, mentor, and tell everyone how to solve their problems; they are not asking you. Even if asked, don't take on that role in a social setting; it shows you are not professional at all. And, if you find yourself in the same room with professionals in any field, this is not the time to ask for medical advice or spiritual advice. Let people have a break; they probably need it. Usually, I find that such questions are a way to show off what the person knows and they are not really asking a question as much as telling you that they really know a lot and aren't you so impressed with them?
• After a social or even business or professional event, sit and think about what you said and how you said it; what you communicated and how you did it. Try to see yourself as others may have seen you. Make a mental note to change things that need to be changed. We learn and grow by observing and by changing what needs to be changed. Even if you feel totally humiliated by the way you behaved, it is OK. You can always call and apologize and do better next time. Your friends know already, and they may still like you and want to be with you. So, next time, do better.

A conversations is a dialog and not a monologue.

A friend of mine was dating someone and when I asked how it is going, he said, “Fine if she would just stop talking. She talks non-stop and I never have a chance to say anything. It is as if she wants to continuously show me what she knows or wants to fill the void. It is so annoying.”

So, I wondered, talking too much and without sensitivity to others is a way to hide, as odd as it may seem.

We hide in our noise; we make noise so we do not have to listen, observe, love, hear the sound of silence or the sounds of others. It is interestingly self-centered.

If you want to be a great conversationalist, become interested in the persons you live with, work with, invite to lunch and have dinner with, and remember, it is not always all about you, your opinions, and your insights.
So, before I overstep my boundaries of speaking too much, even though this is my forum and I can do whatever I want, I need to wrap this up. I wrote this entire series in one sitting, so you know I have a lot to say. If you find me across the dinner table from you, know that I will do my best to listen, will keep my esoteric findings to myself, will try not to give an on the spot seminar, will answer your questions briefly, and I do want to hear what you have to say too, and I am not with you so I can preach to you, I need a break; I am interested in you.

A good conversation is the best communication; it is like a good basketball game where no one is keeping score; it is not a game of racquetball. You never leave a good conversation, for it stays with you and keeps opening the doors and windows of your heart every time you remember it; it expands your space. A good conversation with great people never ends, but continues to infinity. You may never remember the content of a good conversation, but you never forget those moments.

Thanks for listening and it is now time to hear from you; for I see your eyes are glazing over....and I have not fallen off the face of the earth; I am very much here on the Planet. I have had a lot to think about and a lot to do. Life is so interesting and it moves so quickly. We need to capture it every day and see it full of opportunities and possibilities. How much we can grow and mature with good contacts and good communications!

Looking forward to hearing from all of you,

Gita