The Family decided first to hold a graveside memorial service with a traditional prayer and service. Then we all gathered in the family home, where a garden was newly dug up, and readied to be dedicated to Sheila. A beautiful tall statue of an angel adorned the top corner of the garden.

I decided to read the following to commemorate the continuous life of her soul, to encourage her to continue serving in her own way, to remind her that she is free to move to her next destination, wherever that may be, and to remind all of us that every child who comes to us is a temporary gift; we are all in temporary relationships with each other from the perspective of this life, but in eternal relationships from the perspective of the One Life. We belong to each other and we belong to no one and we belong to millions of people all over the world in all lifetimes. Truly, we all belong to each other. I wanted this prayer to commemorate the journey of the soul in the One Life, with many little lifetimes that make such huge impacts on our little lives; we are so enriched by these little lives.

There was another, more silent reminder: How to relate with the children who are with us on earth, our spouses and family members. How do we continue, keeping our hearts open and vulnerable to them, despite the tremendous amount of energy and love that we gave to one person?

I excerpted this reading from Other Worlds by Torkom Saraydarian, with slight changes made to fit the occasion and the diversity of religious traditions of the guests. I read as follows:

“Dear Sheila, we are gathered here in your memory. May the beam of Divine Light illuminate your path. May your protecting angels protect you from any attack or harm. May the blessings of the Holy Ones shine in your heart throughout your journeys.

We send you our love, blessings, and courage. Try always to strive toward the higher, fiery worlds. Do not be englamored by the objects of the level where you are. Remember that the three worlds are illusions. Strive toward the highest; search for the Teacher; aspire toward the Greatest One.

We will keep your memory in our hearts. We will keep your visions alive, and we will follow your steps of love and understanding in all our relationships. We ask that you do not worry about us and go along your path of divine service.

Today, we dedicate this garden in your name. This garden symbolizes the continuity of life. We release you from the prison of illness and death into life everlasting. We hold your spirit alive in our life. We will grow these beautiful flowers as tokens of our dedication to the gifts that you gave to us.

May the light of God shield you and inspire you to strive toward higher achievement. When your time of incarnation arrives, please obey the call to come again and meet your obligations and responsibilities on earth.

Your mother and father, your sister and brother, your friends and family, send you our greatest love and appreciation. You blessed our life. May you also be eternally blessed and live many lifetimes in joy and health.

May the love of God surround you always, in all your journeys on earth and in heaven.

And, may we grow in love and joy together as a family, never forgetting the tapestry that we are weaving with each other, right now, right here.”

The family and friends stood around the garden. The two younger siblings were silent and thoughtful. They know about life more than we think they do. They feel their mother's suffering and put their little arms around her legs. They still need so much from her but, for today, they give their loving hearts to Mom. They are learning, as we are all learning, that life continues infinitely and we all have special needs at special times. Today, they give their love. Tomorrow, they will need the love of Mom focused on their needs.

After reading this prayer, everyone was invited to place their plants in any part of the garden that they wished. The little sister and brother jumped out first to place their pots of flowers. They seemed so eager to start the garden! People slowly walked up and placed their plants in various configurations. Then we all shared a wonderful dinner and spoke about the aspects of life that touch us forever. It was a memorable evening for all of us, especially for me. I noticed people spoke so joyfully of their own children, their accomplishments, their education and their growing up years! Having known only three people when I arrived, I left holding so many more in my heart, and most of all, a very special young lady who is welcomed in heaven, to be sure.

(Dedicated to Sheila Bahrehmand.)

Gita

Link to Part 1
Link to Part 2

- For more information about memorial services for the departed, see the book Other Worlds by Torkom Saraydarian.